It's all so silly if you think about it. Many of us believe that a marriage proposal is one of the most important days. And it is! But for those who fancy the idea of a romanticized long-term commitment, I want to make sure that we know what we're signing ourselves up for. If you think about it, well, if you search it up in the dictionary, the meaning of a proposal is just a suggestion or a recommendation. It's ok to say no, and it's ok to say yes - but you have to be sure!
When I was in the twelfth grade, I was Prom Queen. I was not a Regina George; I was more like a Black Cady Heron - pre-Plastics. I didn't win Prom Queen based on
popularity; I was always in the background, never center of attention, and I was cool with that. But my boyfriend at the time was all about showing out. So, when prom szn came, he made his "prom-posal" a big ordeal. I'm talking second lunch; 20 guys lined up on stage in the caf singing Bryan Adam's 'Heaven,' with a dramatic entrance revealing him standing there with a dozen roses, LOL. Honestly, to this day, that is one of the top ten best things my soul has ever experienced in this life.
After that day, I always wondered how my marriage proposal would be. Could anything top that? Would I ever be presented with that opportunity? Would anyone ever choose to marry me? Would it be him?
No, it wasn't him. When you're a teenager, you're almost always sure that things are the way they will always be. In high school, prom was a big deal. Ten years later, I find myself with a more significant life-changing decision. As easy as it was to say yes to prom, it was a no-brainer saying yes to my future life partner. I think that's a good sign. There was no naivete in my decision; I knew exactly what and who I was saying yes to, despite my complete shock and awe. We need to be sure about both; we have to want the person and the responsibility that the title of a wife or husband holds. More importantly, we always need our why, and this begins long before the proposal - at least it should anyway.
We need a why for everything we do, other than the odd days that we choose to live a little with a 'why not' attitude. But I wouldn't recommend you use that approach with a marriage proposal. In the dating game, as necessary and exciting as it is to meet new and interesting people and see which person our hearts gravitate to the most, we should try to be intentional in our pursuits.
Why do I want to meet new people? What is it about this person that makes marriage seem appealing? Am I ready for marriage? Am I doing the necessary inner-work to ensure that I am bringing my healthiest and emotionally stable/available self forward? Are they? Do I know my love language, and is my partner fluent? And vice versa.
Those were just a few of the hundreds of questions we should be reflecting on before we are blessed with the possibility of a marriage proposal. When you are confident with your answers and challenge your partner to do the same, it makes the ride more enjoyable! But, we can skip these steps anyway and still find ourselves in loving and faithful relationships that lead to that incredible moment our hearts have been yearning for. Ultimately, faith is the down payment we put on love, and love is the down payment we put on everything.
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